Wednesday, February 22, 2012

How to Make a Queen Size Quilt at Hyper Speed

Disclaimer:  None of these ideas are actually recommended, but they have been shown to work on at least one occasion which may or may not have been yesterday.

  • Make a baby quilt instead -- Then you'd be done already, and there would be no point to this post.
  • Make 16 blocks instead of 36 blocks and double the size of the border which makes the quilt 80" square instead of 93" square. 
  • Even though the pieces of all 36 blocks are cut and half sewn. 
  • Yes, it's smaller, but still technically a queen.  Besides being smaller, 80" is important because that is the largest to go before needing to add an extra piece to the backing.
  • Have peanut M&Ms for supper.  The nuts make them healthy - maybe.
  • Have one of the children practice the art of cooking - for the other children.
  • Do allow the children eat all the yogurt, bananas, and other snacks just purchased that should have lasted several days.  They were mostly healthy, and it allowed you to stay in the basement sewing.
  • Don't go to bed before midnight.  If you get to bed before midnight, then you shouldn't have been stressed in the first place.
  • Do press.  It's a necessary evil.  Just because you need to make it quickly doesn't mean it should look like it was made with haste.  Maybe press a little faster than usual.
  • Don't use the seam ripper unless it's a small piece.  Instead set the mistake aside and make a new piece.  After all, there are extra pieces for 20 extra blocks.
  • Lengthen seam allowance two clicks.  Not enough to notice, but maybe enough to make a difference.
  • If the thread breaks once, rethread the needle.  If the thread breaks twice, rethread the machine.  If the thread breaks three times, change the needle.  You probably needed a new one any way. 
  • Don't find a back that is "perfect."  Yes, the quilt shops are open online, but they won't get the fabric to you in time.  Instead, find a back that "might work" in the fabric you bought on clearance just for this occasion.  "Might work" really "does work" in times like these.
  • Do take a quick break to run kids to their activities.  The time saved not taking them isn't worth the trade off of whining and/or arguing that is practically guaranteed to last longer than the car trip.
  • Don't listen to your achy back, tired eyes, and cramping foot.
  • Do listen to funny noises from the sewing machine.  It usually means an empty bobbin, but it could mean something else is wrong.  Either way, it's generally something that is better if caught early.
  • Don't promise the kids you will do something fun the next day unless you are going to follow through.
  • Do let the little one help hand you pieces before shuffling him/her upstairs.  Again -- whining factor coming into play.
  • Don't forget to take pictures.  People who read your blog will want to see pictures even if you can't show them now.
  • Do brush your teeth even though you are so tired you want to collapse from exhaustion.  Remember what you had for supper. 
  • Don't plan on shipping it overnight.  You could buy LOTS of fabric for the extra cost.  Two-day, on the other hand, is sometimes worth it.
  • Do tell your friends you are sorry that you didn't get to show them the quilt before it got shipped off.  I'm sorry.
Happy quilting!


Impera_Magna said...


piecemealquilts said...

Love it! You forgot my favorite "make it bigger" technique: Set the blocks on point, alternating with plain squares AND wide sashing.

The Twisted Sister said...

That post made me laugh! I like your thinking ;)

Lesley said...

Loved reading your post! It made me smile lots!

VickiM35 said...

Reading that before bedtime...go to bed with a smile on your face...happy dreams?!?

rubyslipperz said...

Thaz...funny!!! and, it hit home, in my memories when I was "hurry" sewing/quilting, with 5 young children.


Anonymous said...

You could always do my favorite save. I cute IOU coupon for a quilt. Expires in 10 years.

Leah said...

;) Sounds like you were busy

Shelly @A Creative Space said...

What fun words to read just before going to bed! And, since I am nice & tired, I hope I can read the word verification! :)

Mary Lou said...

rofl, you hit the nail on the head and I must say I have done one or more of all the things mentioned at one time or another and sometimes all at once! I LOVE it, this is a keeper.

Kate said...

"Ain't that the truth!"

krislovesfabric said...

Been there, but you're right, now we want to see it!! I'm sure it's wonderful.

Marion said...

Very funny! We are kindred spirits!

Anonymous said...

Ahahaha!!! Sooooo true!
Your very funny :)
Malvina Sew-Sew

Cathy said...

I needed this laugh today.